Week 05: Recovering a Sense of Possibility
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artistswayWe are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I'm not sure we deserve such big A-pluses for that. —Toni Morrison
Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-groomed, and unaggressive. —Leslie M. McIntyre
Toni Morrison has my number. I am constantly giving myself a giant A-plus for having no time to write, and it's no good.
Cameron's topics this week include what she calls the "virtue trap". She says a very common reason for maintaining a creative block is the need, or desire, to avoid "what would X think?" where X is a spouse, family member, or friend. For a lot of people, sacrificing something of our own time for the benefit of others can feel selfless or virtuous, and that feeling, or the need to avoid feeling selfish, can be very compelling.
Because of this, we might be reluctant to set aside time for fear of being selfish, or of losing the feeling of virtue that comes from never having time. We might even be reluctant to compromise where compromise is possible.
One of Cameron's examples is a woman who wants to take pottery classes, but it would mean missing some of her son's baseball practices. Instead of taking the classes and attending as many of the practices as she can without missing class, or even taking some classes and only skipping a few practices, she skips the classes entirely to attend all the practices, and pushes the pottery classes into the category of things she would like to do if supporting her son didn't come first.
At some point in your creative life, Cameron says, you will have to be selfish. Try not to be afraid.
Being afraid to be selfish can be a kind of self-destruction. Organizing our lives without care for our creative self is a kind of self-destruction. Many of the tasks in Week 5 focus on possibilities that we have relegated to the past (when we were young and stupid) or to the future (when we're older and have more money or fewer responsibilities). We're encouraged to bring these possibilities back into the present.
Cameron has three quizzes in this chapter:
The Virtue-Trap Quiz:
1) The biggest lack in my life is _____.
2) The greatest joy in my life is _____.
3) My largest time commitment is _____.
4) As I play more, I work _____.
5) I feel guilty that I am _____.
6) I worry that _____.
7) If my dreams come true, my family will _____.
8) I sabotage myself so people will _____.
9) If I let myself feel it, I'm angry that I _____.
10) One reason I get sad sometimes is _____.
Leading into the second quiz, Cameron says one of the things blocked creatives often do is say no to ourselves in many small and large ways.
Forbidden Joys: List ten things you love and would love to do but do not feel allowed to do. Post the list somewhere highly visible.
Wish List: List nineteen things you wish, as serious or frivolous as you like but list them as fast as possible, and a twentieth thing you most especially wish.
Don't forget to go on a date with your artist sometime this week and do your morning pages every day!
Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-groomed, and unaggressive. —Leslie M. McIntyre
Toni Morrison has my number. I am constantly giving myself a giant A-plus for having no time to write, and it's no good.
Cameron's topics this week include what she calls the "virtue trap". She says a very common reason for maintaining a creative block is the need, or desire, to avoid "what would X think?" where X is a spouse, family member, or friend. For a lot of people, sacrificing something of our own time for the benefit of others can feel selfless or virtuous, and that feeling, or the need to avoid feeling selfish, can be very compelling.
Because of this, we might be reluctant to set aside time for fear of being selfish, or of losing the feeling of virtue that comes from never having time. We might even be reluctant to compromise where compromise is possible.
One of Cameron's examples is a woman who wants to take pottery classes, but it would mean missing some of her son's baseball practices. Instead of taking the classes and attending as many of the practices as she can without missing class, or even taking some classes and only skipping a few practices, she skips the classes entirely to attend all the practices, and pushes the pottery classes into the category of things she would like to do if supporting her son didn't come first.
At some point in your creative life, Cameron says, you will have to be selfish. Try not to be afraid.
Being afraid to be selfish can be a kind of self-destruction. Organizing our lives without care for our creative self is a kind of self-destruction. Many of the tasks in Week 5 focus on possibilities that we have relegated to the past (when we were young and stupid) or to the future (when we're older and have more money or fewer responsibilities). We're encouraged to bring these possibilities back into the present.
Cameron has three quizzes in this chapter:
The Virtue-Trap Quiz:
1) The biggest lack in my life is _____.
2) The greatest joy in my life is _____.
3) My largest time commitment is _____.
4) As I play more, I work _____.
5) I feel guilty that I am _____.
6) I worry that _____.
7) If my dreams come true, my family will _____.
8) I sabotage myself so people will _____.
9) If I let myself feel it, I'm angry that I _____.
10) One reason I get sad sometimes is _____.
Leading into the second quiz, Cameron says one of the things blocked creatives often do is say no to ourselves in many small and large ways.
Forbidden Joys: List ten things you love and would love to do but do not feel allowed to do. Post the list somewhere highly visible.
Wish List: List nineteen things you wish, as serious or frivolous as you like but list them as fast as possible, and a twentieth thing you most especially wish.
Don't forget to go on a date with your artist sometime this week and do your morning pages every day!
no subject
Date: 2014-06-23 07:04 pm (UTC)From:1) The biggest lack in my life is probably pretty small, whatever it is, since nothing is jumping out at me. On the other hand, it could be so constant and soul-crushing that I can't imagine not lacking whatever it is.
2) The greatest joy in my life is the Lord. I get that this was supposed to ask about creative pursuits and so I should be answering something like writing or drawing, but... no.
3) My largest time commitment is probably teaching Sunday School. I sound boring. And old-fashioned.
4) As I play more, I work marginally more?
5) I feel guilty that I am not perfectly frank on the internet.
6) I worry that no, I don't, what good would that do?
7) If my dreams come true, my family will still be mortal and eventually sicken and die. But they'll have more love and money in the meantime!
8) I sabotage myself so people will redacted as it would tend to divulge too much medical information.
9) If I let myself feel it, I'm angry that I spent most of my life to date getting abused for being disabled.
10) One reason I get sad sometimes is fictional stories give me lots of feels. Scholarly articles on folklore also apparently give me lots of feels.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 12:14 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 08:32 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 06:43 pm (UTC)From:But yes, I do see a connection between my faith and my creative endeavors. First because, yes, God is the source of everything I have. God gave me every talent and every ability and even my very life. And because I'm called to do everything I do to serve God, and to me, that means an awareness of how my work could affect people, and a conscious intent to create work that will improve the world, buoy people, help people. Because of this, I pay attention to demographics and try to normalise disability in the minds of my audience. Because of God, I pay attention to my themes and try to weave messages of hope and love, or if not those messages then useful ones, ideas people can take and make applicable to their lives or their philosophies or just enjoy when they need some entertainment. I pray to write what God wills, whether that be epic-length fanfiction or original poetry or meta or nothing at all.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 08:17 pm (UTC)From:Here's my problem with God-as-genie: Either God's power is finite or infinite. If God is going to expend power to make me fabulously successful or whatever, and his power is finite, then that energy is better spent helping others who need God more, such as those who are acutely suffering. If God's power is infinite, then it seems positively dickish of him not to exert himself for my artistic success and not for other, far more pressing causes. That's not a God I can live with.
But yes, I do see a connection between my faith and my creative endeavors.
That is a beautiful affirmation of both faith and art, and I see a moral soundness in it that I don't see in Cameron's smug pseudo-theology. If I were to sum up Cameron's view it would be "God is with me," a phrase under which terrible things were done. Your view I would sum up as "I must be with God," which emphasizes integrity and responsibility without a hint of entitlement.
My other big problem with Cameron's book is more earthly in nature, specifically the way she drives her readers toward a certain narrative--that we're damaged by rejection and criticism, unable to say no to the unreasonable demands of loved ones, spending all our time and energy on others and burying our artistic dreams as a result. No doubt that's true of many of us, and it fits my story to a certain extent, but it gets annoying that she's making all these assumptions when everyone's story is different. I am also not a fan of the almost uniformly negative way she portrays family and community, as though artistry is only compatible with solitude.
Don't get me wrong, Cameron's program has helped and is helping me a lot, but some of the principles and assumptions underlying her curriculum are beginning to grate on me.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 10:12 pm (UTC)From:As for her other issues, some of the exercises seem aimed at bringing insights I don't seem to need. Like all the lovely insights she seems to think my eight-year-old self must have into pleasure.