Week 04: Recovering a Sense of Integrity
Jun. 16th, 2014 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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artistswayIt is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. —Seneca
Well. . . sometimes.
For some of us, building a stronger sense of self is part of this process. Cameron says the morning pages allow us to distinguish between our private feelings and our official or public feelings. While it's common to say "it's okay" about things we don't feel entirely ok about, it can be important to acknowledge, at least to ourselves, when things are not so ok. Extreme emotions, positive or negative, can also push us into avoiding the morning pages when we need them the most.
The morning pages also, she says, show us our self, a necessary thing for the self-expression that is one important aspect of art.
What do I want? What do I feel?
Who am I?
Finding out or confronting answers to these questions can be painful and unpleasant. Be sure to acknowledge this pain when it occurs. Responses might vary widely, with some people experiencing "emotional pyrotechnics" and volatile emotional states, some noticing gradual changes, and others no changes at all. You might find yourself changing things about your environment, your appearance, the kind of music you listen to -- or you may simply resist any feelings of change or awareness because they feel silly or self-absorbed. Try to observe without judgement.
At this point, Cameron suggests again using affirmations in the morning pages. "I trust my perceptions." "A stronger and clearer me is emerging." "I recover and enjoy my identity."
Try the following exercise, writing down answers as fast as you think them up:
1) List five hobbies that sound fun.
2) List five classes that sound fun.
3) List five things you personally would never do that sound fun.
4) List five skills that would be fun to have.
5) List five things you used to enjoy doing.
6) List five silly things you would like to try once.
Cameron closes the chapter with an exercise that she says is mandatory: a week of no reading.
What?
Why?
Cameron believes that cutting yourself off from reading is a way of avoiding distraction and forcing greater attention to the sensory world. She suggests that procrastinating reading for a week is common and surely one can use the same techniques that one uses to avoid reading to. . .avoid reading. To fill the time, check back with those lists you just made, or listen to music, or knit, or exercise, or cook, or meditate, or sort closets, or do watercolor painting, or go dancing, or fix broken things or . . . She adds an exception for this week's tasks.
I'm a TA in a creative writing workshop this summer, so I can't actually complete the “reading deprivation” task without letting my class down in a major way. Cameron's portrayal of this objection as a self-important tantrum strikes me as unnecessary. I can deprive myself of recreational and research reading for a week, so that's what I'll be doing, even though (because?) my skepticism is through the roof on this one.
I encourage you to make the exceptions you need in order to fit the Reading Deprivation Challenge into your circumstances. I'll be making exceptions for work emails, my creative writing class, and this community. I won't be checking my personal email, reading any other blogs, books, or other publications, or hanging out on Fandom Secrets. On the other hand, I won't bother to take the poems down from my walls or take off my glasses when I pass street signs and banners to avoid being able to read them. We'll see what happens, I guess.
Don't forget to go on a date with your artist sometime this week— note that one of this week's tasks is to plan a whole day's worth of artist date—and do your morning pages every day!
Well. . . sometimes.
For some of us, building a stronger sense of self is part of this process. Cameron says the morning pages allow us to distinguish between our private feelings and our official or public feelings. While it's common to say "it's okay" about things we don't feel entirely ok about, it can be important to acknowledge, at least to ourselves, when things are not so ok. Extreme emotions, positive or negative, can also push us into avoiding the morning pages when we need them the most.
The morning pages also, she says, show us our self, a necessary thing for the self-expression that is one important aspect of art.
What do I want? What do I feel?
Who am I?
Finding out or confronting answers to these questions can be painful and unpleasant. Be sure to acknowledge this pain when it occurs. Responses might vary widely, with some people experiencing "emotional pyrotechnics" and volatile emotional states, some noticing gradual changes, and others no changes at all. You might find yourself changing things about your environment, your appearance, the kind of music you listen to -- or you may simply resist any feelings of change or awareness because they feel silly or self-absorbed. Try to observe without judgement.
At this point, Cameron suggests again using affirmations in the morning pages. "I trust my perceptions." "A stronger and clearer me is emerging." "I recover and enjoy my identity."
Try the following exercise, writing down answers as fast as you think them up:
1) List five hobbies that sound fun.
2) List five classes that sound fun.
3) List five things you personally would never do that sound fun.
4) List five skills that would be fun to have.
5) List five things you used to enjoy doing.
6) List five silly things you would like to try once.
Cameron closes the chapter with an exercise that she says is mandatory: a week of no reading.
What?
Why?
Cameron believes that cutting yourself off from reading is a way of avoiding distraction and forcing greater attention to the sensory world. She suggests that procrastinating reading for a week is common and surely one can use the same techniques that one uses to avoid reading to. . .avoid reading. To fill the time, check back with those lists you just made, or listen to music, or knit, or exercise, or cook, or meditate, or sort closets, or do watercolor painting, or go dancing, or fix broken things or . . . She adds an exception for this week's tasks.
I'm a TA in a creative writing workshop this summer, so I can't actually complete the “reading deprivation” task without letting my class down in a major way. Cameron's portrayal of this objection as a self-important tantrum strikes me as unnecessary. I can deprive myself of recreational and research reading for a week, so that's what I'll be doing, even though (because?) my skepticism is through the roof on this one.
I encourage you to make the exceptions you need in order to fit the Reading Deprivation Challenge into your circumstances. I'll be making exceptions for work emails, my creative writing class, and this community. I won't be checking my personal email, reading any other blogs, books, or other publications, or hanging out on Fandom Secrets. On the other hand, I won't bother to take the poems down from my walls or take off my glasses when I pass street signs and banners to avoid being able to read them. We'll see what happens, I guess.
Don't forget to go on a date with your artist sometime this week— note that one of this week's tasks is to plan a whole day's worth of artist date—and do your morning pages every day!
